There are many layers to healing from the fallout that mental illness can cause. There many layers of acceptance involved in that as well. I catch myself thinking “if we can just get to 21, if we can just get through this semester,” then what miracle will happen if we can just get through the next steps? I’m not really sure what I expect. I think I’ve fooled myself into thinking that is hope, I think it may not be hope, instead it may be another layer of denial about what is possible.
My son’s disorder is complicated. Sleep disorder, learning disabilities, asthma, seasonal allergies, and now he smokes as so many with bipolar disorder do. It’s hard to wade through the possibilities for treatment and so for about six months, he’s had little aggressive treatment. He’s maintained his meds and visits his doc, but he’s not seen a therapist. In the next couple of months I must work with him to find a replacement for his current doctor who no longer sees anyone under 18. My son is 20.
My laundry list never seems to get back to zero:
1. New psychiatrist
2. New therapist
3. Dental work
4. Disability papers for college disability office
5. FAFSA
Just whining.
I remind myself that there are many families out there who have little to no insurance coverage, no warm place to live. This does not keep me from wanting my son to have a normal life.
